I Give Up

Wednesday night, there was quite a brou-ha-ha at Casa di RPM. People were very angry, and children were very upset. Much strum und drang.

And so I opened a beer, and drank it with dinner.


So my sacrifice didn’t even last a week. But I gotta tell you: I didn’t lose my shit Wednesday night. I dealt with the fallout from an earlier decision with aplomb. I had a calm talk with my very distraught 11-year-old about the situation, explaining it to her.

(Short story: Dan is done with the state of our house — cluttered, messy, disorganized. He took all screens away. I mean, he took away the wi-fi router and the Blu-Ray player. NO SCREENS. Until such time as he determines the house is better. He did it without giving me a heads up first, which was upsetting to me as well as to the children. But I’m on his page. Things have got to change.)

(Although I did tell him to return the router. I need that for work.)

However, not all was in vain. Now that I recognize my dependence on alcohol, there are ways I can effectively change my habits to address it, and my anxiety.

(Somewhere my cousin Tommy D is gloating.)

For example, although cocktails are fun, I probably shouldn’t fix one every night. I am going to save them for Friday or Saturday. (Dan is going to be disappointed.)

A daily meditation and/or rosary should become part of my routine. Especially right before bed, I think.

In general, perhaps I shouldn’t drink every day. I don’t know; I waver on this one at this point. People take daily medication to deal with things like anxiety and depression. I know “self medicating” is a bad term, but this week has possibly revealed that I have a choice here: a daily drink or prescription meds.

Or, you know, maybe a little more yoga and deep breathing. Music during dinner prep (h/t to Hope for that suggestion). Kitchen dance parties with the children as we clean up after dinner.

More daily writing. More checking things off to-do lists. (More making of to-do lists. Getting shit done is my Zen, and making to-do lists helps me get shit done.)

Whatever works to round my jagged edges and make me a kinder, gentler mother and wife.

I surmise that my drinking habit — daily, one or two — is what most drinking looks like. Unless you are a college student, in which case slow down, cowgirl. Teetotalers and/or raging alcoholics are extremes, and most of us just don’t live in extremes.

Or maybe I should drink chamomile tea every now and again.

Are you a daily imbiber?

bourbon and potatoes
Booze and potatoes. The makings of any good weekend, right?

5 thoughts on “I Give Up

  1. Not a daily drinker. I *MAY* have a drink during the week, once or twice, but usually it is a Friday and Saturday thing for me. And it was difficult giving it up. Not going to lie. And knowing that St Paddy’s Day is coming, along with my family’s annual party? So many people are citing the Boston bishops and handing out dispensation, as well as that whole stupid not really Lent on Sunday but I’m really going to make the effort this year. I think I can be better at this than I have when I gave up chocolate.

  2. It is 5:30pm, after a long work day and I am going for the Bushmills. Right now. What you write about a drink or meds rings very true to me. A drink a day (often two) is necessary to me and my family’s well being. I am a little uncomfortable with that but it’s truth.

    1. I think it’s good to recognize it, though. If I were drinking a six-pack every night, or a bottle of wine, or even three or four cocktails, I would be seriously concerned for my well-being, as well as my family’s. But a glass of wine with dinner is actually normal. And I think it’s important, too, that we communicate that to our children.

  3. I’ve been trying to only drink on the weekends (Fri-Sun) for some time now. That’s my goal, just because it would be better for me if I gave my liver some time off.

    I don’t always succeed though. Every single night, after dinner, I want a drink or two, just to chill out and watch TV. Sometimes I cave on Thursday. Sometimes even Wednesday. But the next week I try again.

    And like you, I’m not talking about getting hammered… just two drinks, max. But it’s a real test, trying to give it up. You’re not alone.

    1. I seldom get drunk. A third drink makes me tipsy, and I certainly don’t do that even weekly. I think it’s good to know our habits, and try to change them if needed.

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