Wednesday night, there was quite a brou-ha-ha at Casa di RPM. People were very angry, and children were very upset. Much strum und drang.
And so I opened a beer, and drank it with dinner.
“NOPE,” I tweeted. “I’LL GIVE UP TV INSTEAD.”
So my sacrifice didn’t even last a week. But I gotta tell you: I didn’t lose my shit Wednesday night. I dealt with the fallout from an earlier decision with aplomb. I had a calm talk with my very distraught 11-year-old about the situation, explaining it to her.
(Short story: Dan is done with the state of our house — cluttered, messy, disorganized. He took all screens away. I mean, he took away the wi-fi router and the Blu-Ray player. NO SCREENS. Until such time as he determines the house is better. He did it without giving me a heads up first, which was upsetting to me as well as to the children. But I’m on his page. Things have got to change.)
(Although I did tell him to return the router. I need that for work.)
However, not all was in vain. Now that I recognize my dependence on alcohol, there are ways I can effectively change my habits to address it, and my anxiety.
(Somewhere my cousin Tommy D is gloating.)
For example, although cocktails are fun, I probably shouldn’t fix one every night. I am going to save them for Friday or Saturday. (Dan is going to be disappointed.)
A daily meditation and/or rosary should become part of my routine. Especially right before bed, I think.
In general, perhaps I shouldn’t drink every day. I don’t know; I waver on this one at this point. People take daily medication to deal with things like anxiety and depression. I know “self medicating” is a bad term, but this week has possibly revealed that I have a choice here: a daily drink or prescription meds.
Or, you know, maybe a little more yoga and deep breathing. Music during dinner prep (h/t to Hope for that suggestion). Kitchen dance parties with the children as we clean up after dinner.
More daily writing. More checking things off to-do lists. (More making of to-do lists. Getting shit done is my Zen, and making to-do lists helps me get shit done.)
Whatever works to round my jagged edges and make me a kinder, gentler mother and wife.
I surmise that my drinking habit — daily, one or two — is what most drinking looks like. Unless you are a college student, in which case slow down, cowgirl. Teetotalers and/or raging alcoholics are extremes, and most of us just don’t live in extremes.
Or maybe I should drink chamomile tea every now and again.
Are you a daily imbiber?