The past two-three weeks, I have been dragging. Dragging myself out of bed. Dragging myself to the gym. Dragging myself around the house to get stuff done.
My preference at home is to do as little as possible. Meals have been half-hearted. I have eaten many of them in front of the television with my children. (Kate, Michael, and I enjoyed Zumbo’s Just Desserts.) I am lethargic and unmotivated.
On Saturday, I had a to-do list as long as my arm.
And the sun came out.
I was energized, focused, and getting stuff done. I was not dragging. I even arranged an impromptu lunch with my husband; it included bloody Marys. I kept myself going until 10 p.m. that night.
I mentioned the dragging thing and the sunlight thing to Dan.
“Do you think you might have Seasonal Affective Disorder?” he asked.
Do I think that? No, not really. I think this time of year is hard for many reasons, including and not limited to:
- Cold weather and gray skies
- Too much to do for too many people in too little time
- Grief and its complications
- Short days, long nights
- Zero time to myself
Do I feel better when the sun is out? Yes, yes I do. Today, I even made a point of going outside because the air was mild and the sun was shining. A little boost of energy and vitamin D, less dragging of self to gym.
Also, let’s face it, it’s been a tough year. I have a couple of end-of-the-year posts I want to do, including the good things from this year.
I am having a hard time thinking of good things from this year. My big highlight is: everyone in my family is healthy. Which is no small thing, to be sure. Not everyone is so fortunate. (And, believe you me, I am praying for those people.)
Those little bursts of sunshine are going to keep me going, people. What’s going to keep you keeping on this time of year?