I pass this sign (in front of a Christian school) nearly every day, and nearly every day it makes me angry.
I have anxiety. I also pray, and attend church, and I am thankful for my life. As I wrote on Instagram, “Telling me not to be anxious is like telling a person with depression to cheer up or look on the bright side. Mental illness isn’t dispelled with platitude or prayer.” (And thanks to all the people who left comments and support on that IG post. It helps, it truly does.)
I suppose it’s a touchy subject for me. I thought my anxiety peaked last year, and I also thought the stuff I was doing to battle it this year was working. I seem to have been wrong on both counts.
It’s bad again, so bad that I am impatiently awaiting my annual physical to talk with my doctor about medication again.
I have trouble sleeping. I have trouble eating (my appetite has fled — I think I mentioned this elsewhere). I have panic attacks; I am short-tempered.
I am exhausted.
I thought I would get some rest and recovery time this Thanksgiving break, but we are traveling instead.
But, I do still have things to be thankful for, hence this post on this day.
- I have never cooked a turkey, and I am thankful that I can go another year without having to take over this tradition.
- Because we are traveling, I don’t have to cook a thing (although I do wish I had remembered this recipe earlier, because I would have volunteered to make and bring it).
- I am bringing pumpkin roll (made for us by someone else — and, no, Mom, not yours; that one’s already gone), a cherry pie (from a fundraiser that my children did), a bottle of bourbon, and a bottle of prosecco. I procured all of these things prior to Wednesday, so no grocery or liquor store runs for me, yay!
I hope you find yourself in a good place on this holiday, and can find things to be thankful for. I know sometimes it’s a struggle, and I know I have it pretty good.