I Give Up

Wednesday night, there was quite a brou-ha-ha at Casa di RPM. People were very angry, and children were very upset. Much strum und drang.

And so I opened a beer, and drank it with dinner.


So my sacrifice didn’t even last a week. But I gotta tell you: I didn’t lose my shit Wednesday night. I dealt with the fallout from an earlier decision with aplomb. I had a calm talk with my very distraught 11-year-old about the situation, explaining it to her.

(Short story: Dan is done with the state of our house — cluttered, messy, disorganized. He took all screens away. I mean, he took away the wi-fi router and the Blu-Ray player. NO SCREENS. Until such time as he determines the house is better. He did it without giving me a heads up first, which was upsetting to me as well as to the children. But I’m on his page. Things have got to change.)

(Although I did tell him to return the router. I need that for work.)

However, not all was in vain. Now that I recognize my dependence on alcohol, there are ways I can effectively change my habits to address it, and my anxiety.

(Somewhere my cousin Tommy D is gloating.)

For example, although cocktails are fun, I probably shouldn’t fix one every night. I am going to save them for Friday or Saturday. (Dan is going to be disappointed.)

A daily meditation and/or rosary should become part of my routine. Especially right before bed, I think.

In general, perhaps I shouldn’t drink every day. I don’t know; I waver on this one at this point. People take daily medication to deal with things like anxiety and depression. I know “self medicating” is a bad term, but this week has possibly revealed that I have a choice here: a daily drink or prescription meds.

Or, you know, maybe a little more yoga and deep breathing. Music during dinner prep (h/t to Hope for that suggestion). Kitchen dance parties with the children as we clean up after dinner.

More daily writing. More checking things off to-do lists. (More making of to-do lists. Getting shit done is my Zen, and making to-do lists helps me get shit done.)

Whatever works to round my jagged edges and make me a kinder, gentler mother and wife.

I surmise that my drinking habit — daily, one or two — is what most drinking looks like. Unless you are a college student, in which case slow down, cowgirl. Teetotalers and/or raging alcoholics are extremes, and most of us just don’t live in extremes.

Or maybe I should drink chamomile tea every now and again.

Are you a daily imbiber?

bourbon and potatoes
Booze and potatoes. The makings of any good weekend, right?

Know Thyself: On Second Thought

More things that are making me regret my decision to give up alcohol for Lent.

10. Lots of emotions regarding my father-in-law’s illness.
9. Two work-from-home days (one unplanned) with all the children at home.
8. Better Call Saul.
7. I am hosting the Battle of the Books meeting tomorrow evening.
6. Dan keeps saying, “Are you sure you don’t want a drink?” #enabler
5. A lot of people in my social media feeds enjoy wine, beer, and/or cocktails, and they insist on sharing.
4. Two bottles from Wigle in my liquor cabinet.
3. Work reorganization! Another one!
2. I wiped out on ice yesterday, and bruised my coccyx.
1. The 2016 Presidential campaign. (On a related note: We know when Dad M has had a good day because he will get in a fight with us about politics.)

My last cocktail, a Wigle Old Fashioned. *sigh*
My last cocktail, a Wigle old-fashioned. *sigh*