I understand that Mother’s Day is fraught for many women — and probably more than a few men.
If you choose not to observe this day for your own reasons, I wish you peace.
If you feel pressure to observe this day, I hope you find a way to observe it that brings you joy.
For myself, I haven’t cooked or cleaned a thing today (and I don’t plan to start again until tomorrow a.m.). We went to breakfast as a family, and have had some lazy time at home, and we will be taking my MIL out for dinner later.
Motherhood isn’t the end-all-be-all of womanhood. And I don’t think we need to be patronizing about it either, and point out that some women who aren’t mothers are still mother-figures. Women aren’t by default nurturing and motherly. It’s okay to not want to be moms, or that special aunt, or that nurturing woman in some child’s life.
I know for me that my children are the best thing I’m ever going to do. And that there are days I’m not a great mom, and I’m not going to beat myself up for that. Mothers are humans, too. We’re not saints. (I mean, MY mom is certainly a saint, but I’m pretty sure that’s not just because she’s a mom.)
As a little Mother’s Day gift to myself, I went to the Listen to Your Mother show in Pittsburgh this past Friday night. It was nice to sit in the audience and just listen to 14 amazing stories. I cried and held hands with my castmate from last year, Danielle, for more than one of those stories, and also laughed my ass off through more than one. If you haven’t checked out this show yet, here in Pittsburgh or in another one of the 41 cities where it happens, do yourself a favor, and book it for next year. Heck, take a mom you know.
To my own mom, to my sister and my two sisters-in-laws, and to my children’s godmothers: Happy Mother’s Day!
If you celebrated today, I hope it was happy for you, your mom, a mom you know, or any of those mother-figures that did and do nurture you in your life. Happy Mother’s Day.